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As a second wife, one always lives with insecurities. I wish I could say otherwise, but I have been married four times and two of my former husbands, the publicist David Wynne-Morgan and advertising executive Nigel Grandfield, had ex-wives.

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If you are constantly feeling these emotions, they have a hold on you.Even if the abusers wants to change, they seldom want to put any real effort towards changing. They stick around hoping they can fix things and often end up blaming themselves for the state of the relationship.The long term cumulative effects of abuse are often difficult to quantify.It is what the abuser wants you to believe, that you have no power.But you do and you must find it within yourself to take the first steps.Studies have shown those who have not come to terms with past abuse, especially abuse suffered in childhood, have a harder time dealing with stressful situations later in life.